A pouring out. Things spill over. I’ve made an intention to enter my tiny really-a-bedroom studio with prayer, to greet the paint and paper with prayer. To see. To hear. I’ve noticed as the weeks slip one into the next that this has become more than just a thing I do when I sit down to create; it’s beginning to color my entire world. Never before have I committed to a Lenten practice that runs this deep- Fasting in some areas. Cultivating in other areas. And through it all, the quiet.
It’s sad how all the idle, ill-spoken, complaining words will come back to haunt you when you finally still the tongue. I’ve had to repent so much. Ask forgiveness. Confess.
I’m realizing that this is what Lent is about- an emptying out so that we can be filled with God. The way He sees things.
I’ve been thinking about what Katherine had to say this week.
“There’s something about crafting words, something that touches the depths of my heart. But I worry about the words I share and I’m never at peace with them. But it’s this fear and trembling that will protect me from the tempest of my words. Only fools speak free and much. Every time I open my mouth, every time my fingers race across a keyboard, I set my feet on perilous ground. ”
Please go read the whole article– such meat for thought there. I think it’s not just writing- it’s creating of any sort. It’s our creative act as mothers. As fathers. As friends. Lovers. Sisters. In whole, our lives–will we pour out the grace that has infused our lives and changed us, or will we trip and fall over barriers of our own making, shattering, sending shards of hurt flying?
As an artist and writer, I find myself asking her questions as I enter the creative space:
“Let there be light. When I write, I ask myself, do my words bring forth light in a world veiled in darkness? Let the dry land appear. Do they offer a sure footing for my neighbor or have I set a deadly snare? Let the earth bring forth fruit. Do my words bear fruit in the ones who receive them?”
– Katherine Johnson, “Deliver Me From Idle Words”
I pray for my life and my art to be a living peace-giving, a blessing, a spilling out of grace. If so, there is a lot of cultivating in my heart-garden still left, a lifetime of work.