facing grief,  Faith

Resting…

Self Portraits 2008 189

Look at the birds of the
air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your
heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matt 6. 26

These birds soar overhead every evening at twilight. It's a breathtaking sight…thousands of birds fluttering over, a spectacular sunset on the horizon. It happens almost daily, right over the top of my house. The day I came home from the hospital, they flew over with glorious abandon, as usual. I glanced up from my spot on the big comfy chair piled under blankets, and I felt such peace. Because the God that takes care of those beautiful little sparrows, also cares for me, and how much more dear am I to the heart of God? The Message translates the verse "careless in the care of God".  What a promise!

He was with me, He is with me still, granting rest and peace. He provided miraculously for my health, sustained by the prayers of the saints…I saw His hand everywhere, in the timing of everything. In the doctor he provided for my care, in the timing of each moment that happened. What blessings were poured out!

I will not lie. My sorrow seeks to overwhelm at times. I cannot fathom His ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. His ways are not my ways. But He is, He is, my Abba Father, Reedemer, Sustainer, Jehovah Jireh, YHWY, my breath of life. He is mending up the broken places within… I know that this His plan for my life, and it brings me comfort, even in the sorrow.

And now I begin a new journey. A journey of healing. A journey with grief and sorrow. Grief is fundamentally life changing…right now everything has a bittersweet tinge about the edges. Death hovered near, but God was closer still. I have found so many snippets of Hinds Feet in High Places flashing through my mind in quiet moments…what a beautiful allegory of the journey we must take.

Thank you, thank you, thank you,
from the bottom of my heart,
for all your prayers, thoughts, and love.

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