Waiting…

 
The blood tests came back yesterday afternoon…the hormone levels increased only by a half instead of doubling. The uncertainty is clawing at the corners of my heart. The grief…it seeks to overwhelm. I am leaving for the doctor's appointment that will answer so many questions. I don't know what these next hours hold. But I do know that my dear Abba is Faithful, and that He is holding me close in this tempest. This is, this is, my  God's Plan A for my life. I will cling to Him. He will carry me through.
In my darkest hours, I have found myself praying, crying, and creating. Visual prayers, visual promises. This is my offering, my tithe. The paper, so thin, so fragile, the paint running where I would will it not…how it echoed my heart in these moments.