Between continuum and ad infinitum…

The space of the last few weeks stretches on for near eternity in my heart-mind, and has not yet caught up with my today-mind. I live and walk and breathe in today, but heart and mind are piecing and puzzling the last month into a picture I can understand. It is so hard to describe the time-travel we have done. We had a chance to go to the end of our lives and look back, and then come Monday, a chance to go to the beginning of our lives and look forward. A very odd space of time, that. To whit, I feel this gift is a precious commodity, not to be squandered- and so I listen still.

Elise said it well in the last post…

  It will infuse your wifing, your mothering, your homekeeping, your worship… and even more so for your sweet hubby.

It truly has. Everything has  a different cast to it- the mundane shows wear of eternity 'round the edges. That basket of laundry, oh my constant thorn as momma to four sweet but messy toddlers, hints at little feet that grow large and walk the earth, little hands that bring joy, little bodies that will grow and bend and learn. I forget this. I will forget again, when the amazement and shock of these last weeks wears off. But I must remind myself of the picture the Lord is painting with my life.

In that weight and measure, I find myself questioning, observing. What dreams have I forgotten? What chains have I grabbed hold of that were not mine? What road is this that I have been walking, blindly? Prayers whisper- Lead me, Abba. Let me not be distracted. Show me the way for my feet.

Things fall away. Things that I thought were dear, but in the light of eternity seem but cheap baubles. Others- unprecious in the world's eyes, are better than every jewel in the world.  My heart prescription has changed- a new pair of glasses to see through. 

So I walk, as a babe perceiving the world for the first time-achingly brilliant in its beauty, fearsome in it's enormity. But the Maker holds my hand, and I am His. The answers, the puzzles, the questions, eternity- all His. I will rest in that.

  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
       will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
       my God, in whom I trust."

Psalm 91:1-2