It's amazing and agonizing how life continues to go on around you when you feel uncertain, uneasy. It's almost as if you expect that the rest of the world would be right there with you, in the trenches of questioning. Yet they walk by, oblivious to the life changing moments happening right in front of them. But don't we all? What if we did know the deep life moments confronting the person next to us in line at the check out? That driver along side on the interstate? How different our responses would be. I am reminded that this was exactly what Jesus did in his time on earth. He saw the pain, the fears, and he walked right into them. He understood. And He loved. I know now that is part of the reason why I am going through this time of testing. Waiting. Trusting. My own private pain seems to reach out to the pain in others, and I am reminded to reach out to them. To love, to care, to give a word of encouragement. I needed to walk through this, no matter what the outcome, so that I could understand and see this pain, this groaning of grief that I would have never noticed before.
So I wait. And I listen.