Photo by Steve took it.

My life often seems to be forward march, reverse, back and forth, time-speeds-by and then-time-crawls.

This summer has been such a one- I’ve been careening toward a future and yet resolutely stuck in a past that won’t let go of me quite yet. It’s an odd feeling.

Today I glance over a new school year, with new decisions made, new books, new bags, new everywhere. My sister is newly a wife…I spent the weekend at her wedding, doting on her as all matrons of honor do. It was a lovely time, and yet there was silver mist about the edges…some things will ever be painful for me, and weddings are such an occasion.

I had to fly- our current work situations would not allow much more- and I spent much of what should have been a calm and joyful weekend caught in the vortex of our archaic air transportation system. What was supposed to be quicker, easier, faster, calmer- all opposite. I’ve never been one to have panic attacks, but I came awfully close yesterday. It is not something I wish to re-live any time soon.

I want to talk about the lessons I’ve learned over the last six months- they are too valuable not to share- but recent events have left me feeling shockingly, panic-filled vulnerable again, and I don’t know what that means for this blog. I’ve always spilled heart-words here, driven to dash my scribbles across the digital page…but I’ve felt so driven to quiet (for many reasons, online and off) that I begin to wonder what is in store for my little place here.

If there is anything I’ve learned over the last few years, it is that we cannot run from our troubles, our time-crawls, our time-evaporations…we must ever be in the moment- in and around and through- so there it is that I am today. One foot in front of the other, thoughtfully, prayerfully.

Outside my window~

A garden in full swing, and a certain heretofore neglected 64 Cherry Red Mustang, now running, out of the garage…such a simple thing really, but it brings me delight to see my husband’s ‘project’ back in circulation.

I am thinking~

That Elise says things that touch your heart and want you to be a better mama, every single day, and how she said what I was trying to say so much better: Once Upon a Time and  Sometimes. Go read, be blessed, and I dare you to try it without a box of Kleenex. She and Ann are such gifts! To unwrap one of their posts is a treasured blessing.

I am thankful for~

Vacations, the safe haven (if occasionally stormy harbor) of family, the people who know know you, past the skin and skull, deep heart level, and most of all, for grandmas. Any sort will do, but my three are the best- love to Grandgrama, Grandma Kathy, and Nana, for without whom I would a lot less sane without their assistance. (I pay back in baby snuggles and toddler kisses.) My mother, who made last week and our extended family vacation happen.

From the learning rooms~

A diligent effort to finish well. In between spaces as one year ‘wraps up’ (ever so slightly since we school throughout the year) and a new one begins. Looking forward to convention and a chance to refuel in a few weeks.

From the kitchen~

I feel like I am forever talking about food and/or homekeeping routines, but I usually write from where I am at. These last few months have been a very concerted effort to focus on these areas. They are the most troublesome for me, and that is definitely the case with food! Between food allergies and diet needs, I can’t ever seem to find a long-term workable solution. I think I am edging a lot closer to an answer that I can work with.

I am creating~

Tiny pockets of order. I realized that much of my mental stress resulted from lack of discipline in my own doings (in addition to my children’s) and that I must focus on what is prescient, what my true work is, right now, no matter how much I may dislike it, no matter how dirty (or stinky….) Sigh. It grieves me in a way I can’t quite put words to. I am not thinking of physical, home keeping type stuff, but rather, the spiritual and emotional- the deep down heart issues at the core of the problem.

I am going~

Very few places this week. It was a refreshing vacation, but so much of vacation is going and seeing, so it’s nice to have a quiet week ahead, with only a few obligations.

I am reading~

Oh gracious. I really need to update my booklist, and I have a ton of reviews I’d like to do…ha. Like I have the time. Ok, the top of the stack rightthissecond is… The Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster. I have been on ‘a tear’ as my husband likes to call it- devouring books left and right.

I am hoping~

I realized today that in addition to the Easter people, we oughta be the hopeful people. Because…no matter what…we have this great Hope…that gives us the freedom to dream big dreams, because His are bigger…

I am hearing~

Mighty is the Power of the Cross by Chris Tomlin on the Arriving album, via a Shawn McDonald Pandora station. You ever have these moments when something set to music just grabs you, holds you, moves you, and reminds you? Yup. I’ve heard this song, sung by him, a million times on a ton of different radio stations, but tonight, the spirit moves. Speechless.

Around the house~

The honey-do list shrunk quite a bit while we were on vacation (my husband couldn’t go with us because of work, so he got to get lots of rest and attack that darn list savagely), but there is still a lot of projects that need getting done, so that’s where I am headed next. We should be moved in some time in 2025. Ha!

One of my favorite things~

Is getting to hear those “I remember when…” stories that always happen at family gatherings. We should listen ever so much more closely to these- these personal histories that shape and form-but we don’t realize it for their very mundane, every day subject matter until it is too late to hear it told one more time.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing~

Oh yeah, summer is here. Strawberries….yum and yum. And flip flops. YAY!

You can find more daybooks here.

Outside my window…

A light dusting of snow. I am trying to act as if this is a good thing, but I am done with snow this year. It has made a mucky, muddy mess of our area (an area that rarely gets snow) and the county has been ill-equipped to deal with its’ effects. Blech. Where is spring?

I am thinking…

Of a sweet friend going through a move herself. Praying for her and her sweet kiddos- it’s been a tough season for them.

I am thankful for…

Banker’s boxes. New beginnings. Bigger rooms and places to run, a real, actual kitchen with a window over the sink. Space to breathe. For my wonderful, amazing husband, jack of all trades, mover of all things heavy. We got wonderful news about his job Friday, so to say we are over the moon right now even in the midst of moving chaos is just about right.

From the learning rooms…

We are in a bare bones, catch as catch can school schedule. Math happens just about every morning, and we are reading lots and lots. Real life learning going on right now. You know, spatial awareness- will that mattress fit through that door and how heavy is it- and let’s take bets on how long it is until mommy and daddy drop it- that sort of thing. heeeee

From the kitchen…

You know, I’m excited. We sort of got into this buy frozen family meals type routine the last two or three weeks in all the craziness of James moving to second shift. It always helps, but I am ready to cook again. And in a nice kitchen to boot! We’re only renting, but it feels a bit like Christmas right now.

I am wearing…

Jeans and t-shirt. Only notable because the last few weeks I have been living in sweats. Not exactly on purpose, but when my days started early and ended late, I often would look down at three in the afternoon and realize I never got “dressed”. Going to try to change that trend after the move is over.

I am creating…

Mess upon mess upon mess. I can’t believe how messy the kitchen was- and I am very diligent in making sure it is cleaned top to bottom at least once a week. Blech, blech, blech, yuck. Thoroughly grossed out.

I am going…

To not miss all the *loud* traffic that files past our house each night. We are moving to a lovely barn house in the middle of the country with fantastic, amazing, over the top (yes, I will take pictures and share) views of the mountain ridge. Where it is blissfully *quiet*.

I am reading…

Sort of reading three books at once, and I can’t remember any of their names right now. Ha! But it is nice to be able to read again, and be able to remember and absorb what I have read. Sleep deprivation is not stealing brain cells any more. *grins*

I am hoping…

That this move goes well, that the kids find the transition somewhat smooth, and that the family moving into this house will be blessed.

I am hearing…

Josiah babble and talk, and blow rassberries. He’s suddenly discovered he can make noise, and it is so funny to watch him feel out the sounds in his mouth. We live to make him laugh right now- what’s sunnier than a baby giggle? He definitely brightens our days.

Around the house…

You know, I’ve purged and purged and purged the last two years, and I am still amazed and the simple amount of stuff- equipment- that it takes to manage and run a large family. I don’t know how extra large (10+) families travel, let alone move. I am overwhelmed at the amount of things needed just on the first day to keep the kids going in the midst of the move!

One of my favorite things…

Nursing. I have passed quite a milestone today- 7 months. Well, so has he for growing, but I digress. This is the longest I have gone breastfeeding, with no signs of stopping so far. I wonder why it took me till number five to finally “get” it…the times we have together are sweet and quiet in the midst of noise and messes. A peaceful place.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

You can find more daybooks here:http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Outside my window...

After all the arctic cold, lots of warm-ish temperatures. And mud. Lots of mud. When you spin out in your own drive way (asphalt)…something has gone awry.

I am thinking…

About so many things, so many that I wish I could share- but God has ordained my silence here. I hope to be back with my readers and friends soon. About Haiti. About completion. Soon, soon.

I am thankful for…

James has begun his new job. Did I mention that here? I honestly cannot remember. It has been a whirlwind, truly. A wonderful whirlwind, but all the same, hold tight the rope as we go flying! He LOVES it. We love it. We couldn’t ask for anything better. I can’t wait to tell you the story. Some of you know the whole story via email, but hopefully I can tell it here soon!

From the learning rooms…

Diligence, diligence. We are sort of in a short-at-the-seams stage of schooling- I don’t have “enough” for the boys. Wonderful that they want more, but where to find time to search out more resources? And time to engage with it? Seeking to find the balance between the schooling needs and other relational needs for my younger ones.

From the kitchen…

Oh, it is has been crazy come dinner time for an abundance of reasons, but miraculously…we’ve managed to eat at home every night but one the last two weeks. I am so proud of that, because it means I have finally built up a repertoire of meals that I feel comfortable cooking in a short amount of time *and* have the pantry items for. I have been trying to do this for years, I tell you! It’s almost a ‘shout from the mountain tops’ success here. *big grin* (HT: Mary Ostyn, because without her book, I wouldn’t have finally mastered it!)

I am wearing…

To do lists pasted to my forehead, because it is THAT crazy around here. Well, not my forehead, but you get the picture. My brain dumps about four times a day- without the lists I would get so lost about what I am supposed to be doing and when. Thank God for iPhone alerts.

I am creating…

Messes upon messes. I know that putting the house on the market was a wise thing to do, but sheesh. Why does packing have to be so messy? At yet, have to keep everything so very clean? You can see more dust that way. And baby hand prints. And snot smears. And a million other things I don’t want to think about. Praying they don’t look too hard at the carpet.

I am going…

Nuts. Goofy, just keep holding on and laugh about it nuts. Now that we have a job-rhythm that will change again in two short weeks, I have to find an even keel for a wee bit. He will then be on second shift (which is a four-to-midnight deal) for a long time, which means our whole “day” will shift. Does that mean we need to make our big family meal lunch? Stuff like that.

I am reading…

Nothing at the moment besides my blog subscriptions. I hope to have my reading list together soon.

I am hoping…

That this week is calmer than last week. Last week I felt a bit like a chicken with its’ head cut off. Not a good feeling.

I am hearing…

The dryer thumping about. Last load of laundry. For now.

Around the house…

Selling one’s house is not conducive to living in one’s house at the same time. Let’s just leave it at that.

One of my favorite things…

The way my children giggle. I love drawing it out of them. Often. And giggling along with them.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

To find my brain. And my coffee. I’m gonna need it. The kids have taken to rising when dad leaves. Five thirty am. Yipes and double yipes. Ask anyone- I am not a morning person at all, and the care and keeping of the five under seven set is hard at the crack of zero dark thirty. Sheesh. Sanctification lessons indeed. oh. my. word.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

[We're sorry. The scrapbooker and crafty chica formerly known as Joy has lost her camera. Seriously. It's in a box somewhere...I think.]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to post without a picture? I’m a picture and a post kind of blogger. It is driving me nuts!

You can find more sane and encouraging daybooks here.

Outside my window…

A "For Sale" sign, and bitter, bitter cold. I am amazed the pipes haven't frozen yet; I expect it to happen any hour now. Then again, the constant twirl of the washer might be postponing that.

I am thinking…

That change is frightening, and yet invigorating. I also think that there are a lot of plates in the air right now. My plans for January have been completely upended and it's only the 3rd, but the new plans are so much the better. I've read a plethora of wonderful "new year" posts, with lovely thoughts- read everyone's new word for the year- based on Ali's thing from three years ago.  All inspiring. I can't muster the brain power to talk about everything I've been thinking about: I think the Lord has ordained for it all to "set and set" a little while longer. If I have any word right now, it is "winsome". That's what I think about when I think about what I want to be, want to do.  Or "wise". How about two: winsome and wise?

I am thankful for…

Hands and hearts and dreams and love. Paint that covers a multitude of toddler goo. Space to breathe and move.  Children that manage to weasel under my defenses and make me love them even more.

From the learning rooms…

New semester here we come! Amazingly, all house-showing and moving aside, this will be the first "normal" semester for my boys- one in which I am not pregnant and/or in the newborn fog. I find myself much more excited about the learning days ahead, and I know this has a lot to do with health and a few decent nights of sleep in a row.  I think everyone is ready to get back into our school day rhthym. Breaks are good, but getting back to work brings its own reward.

From the kitchen…

My kitchen suddenly seems quite spacious pared down to the barest of essentials. Hah! I will not be fooled. Needless to say, with showings happening at the oddest of times, I have to retreat to the 'old faithfuls' that can be fixed in twenty minutes or less, freezing double batches, and making as much as possible in the slow cooker. (I figure it has the added benefit of making the house smell really good all day long- something they say really helps with selling!)

I am wearing…

My heart on my sleeve. Everything is right near the surface right now, so full of hope! Yet admonishing myself to patience and waiting for God's perfect timing. 

I am creating…

Stacks and stacks. Box after box is stacking up in the garage. I've had a few ask on facebook why I am packing and painting and the like without an offer on the house or even a house to move to- yet- and the simple answer? Our house is TINY. We have lived in every square inch of it, all seven of us, for the last four years. It has taken a lot of abuse; almost every base board, every wall, the carpet, has the evidence of children. It needed a "washed face" for showing. And, by removing most of our furniture and toys, the house looks much larger to potential buyers. We really want to see our house sell quickly, and I'll do anything that helps that process along!

I am hoping…

To keep my wits about me.

I am hearing…

A new playlist my husband made, aptly named, "Christ". It's perfect. It's also needful. It's helping me to keep focus where it belongs!

Around the house…

Seeing if we can master the twenty minute whole house scrub down for showing. It's hard to keep the house ready for the realtors when we live in every inch of it, but we're pretty close. I hate to admit it, but having most of the furniture, and three quarters of the toys and paraphernalia packed up makes that a lot easier. I don't think we can go very long like this- but I've already purged some things we obviously have no need for. It's good to test how much is really "needed". 

One of my favorite things…

Hearing the kids talking about moving to their "farm". Now, I don't know if that is in the cards for us. Oh, it's a great hope in our family- but we have to do what is financially wise for us right now, no matter how much a little white house and big red barn might be calling to our name. We'll have to see. But I can't help but smile when we go look at pr
operties, hearing the boys discuss their plans as to where the (non-existent, not-yet-purchased) John Deere tractor will go, and where they will hang the tire swing. How much fun it is to be that age and have dreams as big as the sky!

A few plans for the rest of the week:

I know I said that Life in the Making would be moving to the new cyber digs today, but I have had nary a minute to make the final tweaks, and neither has my Geek turned painter and all around handyman. I think that the end of the week is a reasonable goal. I've got tons of stuff and goodies to give away all ready to post and go over there…soon. Very soon. I'll make sure to point you there as soon as it is ready!

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

The new year is always about hope. This double rainbow happened about 11 am Christmas day. It felt like a benediction! It was amazing- lasting more than an hour. We just sat at windows and stared for the longest time.

 
You can find more daybooks here.