Dear One, I didn't even know you were there. I don't know if you are there still. The doctors aren't sure. We are waiting and watching. I don't know if I have lost you already or if you are just starting to grow. I am scared, dearest one. I bled internally, and something is wrong with my right ovary. But my blood says you are within me, even though they cannot see you. They want to watch, to see if my HcG levels double, meaning you are still with us. They wanted to do surgery to evaluate the bleeding, to make sure if mommy was okay. But they wanted to wait. To give you a chance to grow… you and I are resting in God's Almighty Healing hand, dear one. I love you.


Please pray for my health, for the unknown baby's health, for
healing within the ovary, and that no more bleeding into the abdominal
space occurs. That the doctors will be given wisdom in my care, for the
emotional upheaval happening within my heart, for my husband and

We wait in hope for the LORD;

he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us,

O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:20-22 NIV

{Picture from November 2005, pregnant with Lorelei}

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Searching for words…

8 thoughts on “Searching for words…

  • August 16, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    Hey Joy, I’ll being keeping you guys in prayer! HUGS!!

  • August 18, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    Joy, dear one of God, you are safe in His hands. This is my trust. Donna and Tom.

  • August 19, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Oh dear Joy, we will be praying. I know the uncertainty, the longing, so well. How I pray that He will do a miracle for you and your little one.
    Let us rest in His arms together.

  • January 28, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    I am very sorry for your loss. I have had two miscarriages (one at 10 weeks in 2005 and one at 20 weeks in 2000.) I know how deep and dark the pain is, especially at first. Even when we love and trust our Lord, it still hurts enormously when he takes away. I will be praying for you. August was not too long ago.
    Pam (a new reader)


Tell me what's on your heart~